(Image credit: sacredsons.com)
Summer is in full swing, wild souls! The youth of the nation are running free, salsa gardens are in bloom, and lawnmowers everywhere are mangling unsuspecting household objects left forgotten in the summer sun to become unwitting victims of our civilized way of life that mandates freshly manicured lawns.
The latest casualty on my humble patch of land is a garden hose that extends partially buried out to the garden beds that line our backyard fence, now full of vines bent over from the weight of blackberries ripening into deep shades of shiny purple and blackest black.
Walking down the familiar aisles of Home Depot – the place that allowed me to put myself through college – I stared down at the two necessary parts for mending the tear in the hose that once carried water to thirsty brambles. The brass fittings were labeled: Female Hose Mender and Male Hose Mender.
I smiled as I envisioned my more ornery spirit guides orchestrating this mild inconvenience in order to illuminate this singular fact of Life:
WE CAN ONLY TRULY MEND WHEN BOTH THE MASCULINE AND FEMININE ARE IN FULL, EMBODIED EXPRESSION AND HARMONIOUS WORKING RELATION.
Anything else is just a rig job pretending to be the whole enchilada while leaking precious life force energy. A half-ass cover-up masking a slow, steady decline into dissolution.
I was asked the other day if I was a “man hater.” The question arrived after my response to their inquiry about my work. I laughed out loud and then I responded, hand over heart, in love. I responded in love because I understand the question. I understand where it’s coming from: its tender roots planted in the soil of the fear of feminine mystery.
Somehow, someway, we have erected a god of certainty. Gripping, clinging to the audacious notion that humans hold the moral authority, with full license to judge rightness and wrongness. Wrongness always being placed on the “other.” The other so often being the feminine, especially the dark feminine.
The feminine seeks to include. To hold space for the fullness of Life, necessary contrast, requisite paradox, rightness and wrongness, lightness and darkness. Certainty requires all possible opposition – otherness – to be cast out, demonized. This division is what ignites the fear that where women to gather in support and celebration of themselves and their sisters, it must mean that they are simultaneously damning all masculine creatures. This is simply not so.
I responded in love because all beings regardless of gender need a safe space in which to express their innermost desires, fears, and concerns. The heaviness of our hearts needs to be held. I sensed a genuine sincerity in his inquiry. I wondered if he’d been on the receiving end of hatred during a time when he needed safe haven.
I could have gotten defensive. I could have unleashed a litany of historical feminine exclusion. Instead, I responded in love, stating that my work is focused on creating safe space for women to explore their full feminine expression. I explained that I’m in the business of restoration and resurrection of feminine values, which have lain dormant, undervalued, underrepresented, and disparaged. I closed with emphatic insistence on this truth:
AS THE FEMININE RISES TO HER RIGHTFUL PLACE IN SACRED PARTNERSHIP TO THE HEALTHY MASCULINE, SHE RISES IN EQUAL MEASURE WITHIN ALL BEINGS REGARDLESS OF GENDER
Ancient wisdom holds that within each part is contained the whole. The feminine is alive in us all. She is awakening. She is rising. And it is good. So very good.
Men, I see you. Working, providing, fathering, nurturing, playing, juggling, struggling. Taking care of your bodies, looking after your mental health, waking for 4:00 am feedings, crushing it in the culinary arts and the pickup line at school (and the bars, because #men). Holding space for big emotion, sweeping change, turning tides. Stepping back, slowing down. Flowing into Warrior One and holding Goddess pose (work those quads!). Passing the tissues, picking the perfect coverlet, practicing for recital, cheering from the sidelines, standing beside and behind. Noticing the moon, the empty toilet paper roll, and the bad day written all over your partner’s face when they come in the door.
The masculine has been on my mind and my heart. It’s a #hottopic this summer in Wildish Collective. I’ve been kicking around the idea of working with men who have an interest in exploring the feminine within. Quite honestly, the idea is a little intimidating. I don’t exactly know what it would look like. But I’m staying open and receptive, patiently waiting for these seeds of inspiration to sprout into action. Such is the feminine way.
What do you think, guys? Ready to run with the wolves? I want to hear from you. What are you seeking? What new territories would you like to explore within? What kinds of spaces do you wish were held for you? Leave me a comment below. And if you know a man who is seeking more full, well-rounded expression, please share this with him.
Forever in Love with the Wild Masculine,